Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Back to Work

As of Oct 4 I am officially back at work. It was an especially hard week as I jumped cold turkey into being away from Hunter for the whole day, I walked into the middle of my company's bankruptcy proceedings, and I wasn't getting to nurse Hunter throughout the day so I'm having to pump to prepare his bottles for the next day. And not to mention that once I get home from work Hunter is ready for his next feeding so the minute I walk in the door we sit down and I feed him, then there is dinner to be made (thank goodness for the slow cooker!), bottles to be washed, bottles to be prepped for the next day, and getting his diaper bag ready for the next day. (Korey washes the dishes!) Whew!

My day starts at 5am just so I can get ready and get him fed before we leave the house. Korey gets him up and dressed since he likes to see him before he leaves the house at 6 and then hands him off to me. It takes about 45 min to nurse him and give him his formula bottle mostly because he's sleepy in the mornings plus I get to hang out with him some before we leave the house.

Just a note on breastfeeding and pumping...the bad thing about nursing is that you have no idea how much you are actually feeding to your child until you start pumping alot and let's just say I freaked out the first week of work because my volume was LOW!! I had no idea how I was going to fill 3 bottles and I had to delve into my freezer stash but thankfully after a couple of adjustments God has provided. I haven't had the volume he's needed since day one so I have had to supplement him with formula per the dr so he still gets half of the ounces he needs from me and the other half from formula. Breastfeeding is not easy but thankfully he nurses like a champ and has had no problems with also taking a bottle. But he does drink every last drop of everything you give him so I'm hoping the dr will let me introduce cereal at 4 months!

With going back to work I wasn't prepared for the guilt I would feel with having to be away from him. Why isn't there a scholarship for moms who want to stay at home with their kids? The first week was emotionally hard and I cried many tears even though I knew he was in good care. It has gotten better being away from him but I love the weekends now because I can nurse him all he wants and get to just play with him. Not to mention that we have skipped a couple of Sundays at church just because both of us didn't want to put him in the nursery and be away from him for yet another couple of hours since we don't have the time with him during the week. We both enjoy him so much! I've also wondered if he knows that I'm his mom and I've had to reassure myself that he does as I've had to be away from him.

I'm glad the holidays are coming up so that I can have more time at home with him.

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